Out Of Africa


funny ramen noodles

My blog has one reader from Burundi. She’s not a regular, but she reads maybe once a week. I have no way of knowing if it’s the same person every week or not, but I like to imagine that it is.
Even though I won the geography bee in seventh grade, I knew very little about Burundi, so when I was looking over my blog statistics, and I saw that I had a semi-regular reader from Burundi, I had to go look it up.
I learned that Burundi was one of the poorest countries in East Africa, and had suffered a series of genocides and civil wars that devastated the local population and economy. It’s been the focus of a UN rebuilding process since 2006, but it’s slow going.
My computer broke soon thereafter, and I wasn’t able to read any more.
I have a habit of never throwing away expensive pieces of technology, or at least always having one backup. I have all the iPhones I’ve ever owned scattered in boxes about my apartment, and I have a rats nest of power cables that would probably be better at bludgeoning intruders to death that charging any device. It only took a few minutes of rummaging through my bedroom closet.
I knew I had an extra computer some where, I just had to find it. It only took me a few minutes of rummaging to unearth the treasure I was searching for: my white, plastic Macbook from 2008.
The memories.
This little workhorse carried me through the end of high school and all the way through undergrad. Its documents folder is full of classics papers, Latin translations, and German workbooks. There’s a whole section of poorly-crafted stories from my early days, malnourished and deformed creatures who flinch and hiss at the light when you open the folder.
And the pictures. It’s like stepping back into high school. To undergrad, back to Birmingham, Alabama.
It was magical. Like opening an old box and finding treasure from when you were a kid.
When I was younger, the decree would sometimes come down from on high that we needed to clean the house. Invariably, my dad would go clean the master bedroom, and the rest of us would have to do the whole house by ourselves. It wasn’t big, but it was the principle that upset us.
At some point, though, we’d all find our selves in the red bedroom, huddled on the floor around several old shoeboxes. There were pictures in the shoeboxes. Thousands of them. We’d look through, and I’d see my dad’s navy friends I always heard stories about, or vacations I couldn’t remember, or family members I only met once.
It’s weird to think that your parents had lives before you were around.
I wonder if old computers are going to be my generations shoe boxes. Old pictures, old homework assignments, old dreams and fantasies, old games and videos. We’ll clean out our closets and stumble across these heavy pieces of plastic, and our kids will go “wow, that thing rested on your lap? Did it cut off your circulation?”
We’ll show them it didn’t, though it did singe the hair off.
Eight years. It seemed like forever.
It seemed even longer when I tried to get on word press. My computer was running browsers that were too old to use the word press web app. Worse still, my operating system was too old to upgrade the browsers. Worse still, I couldn’t upgrade my OS without paying for it.
Shit.
I felt like I was trying to use a brick as a flashlight. No matter how hard I tried to flip a switch, it was just a brick.
I didn’t have Final Draft. I didn’t have Scrivener. I was crippled.
You build your life around a profession. You spend every waking moment thinking about it, you sacrifice good paying jobs to give your dreams a try, you lay it all out on the line, and then your tool breaks. My computer. The one thing I needed, and it’s gone.
It was such a betrayal, like finding a spider in the shower. What was once safe and comforting now has poisonous things in it. Using this old computer felt weird. It felt dirty, too much like I was stepping back into my past, turning into something I used to be and loosing all forward progress. I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to have to write in Microsoft word again.
And then I thought about my reader in Burundi. I wonder what she uses to read my blog, or the lengths she went to to even get access to a computer.
I thought about her, and the civil wars, and the ethnic cleansing. I wonder if she lost any family members. I thought about the rampant starvation, and I wondered if she was hungry. I thought about disease, and wondered if she was well.
My friend works for a company that, among other things, repairs macs for studios and production companies. He’s taking a look at the computer tomorrow. He thinks it’s just a corrupted disk image.
Until then, I’m back in 2008.
I’m using a plastic computer held together by duct tape that can’t even access my favorite websites, but I’m going to soldier through it.
If my reader from Burundi can do it, then I owe it to her to try.
It’s probably not as bad as all that, though. I like to imagine a leisurely afternoon stroll through Bujumbura, the streets alive with insects, the humidity oppressive. Spices waft on the breeze that blows across lake Tanganyika. Dogs bark in the distance, but not in a frightening way. No, it’s comforting.
She wears an orange dress and sandals, and she waves at everyone she passes. They all smile and wave back.
She gets to the café and sits down with a cup of coffee, and loads my blog.
I hope I don’t disappoint her.

p.s.

i wrote this on my phone. I hope it turned out okay.

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14 Comments

  1. It’s fine. You where lucky you had a spare

    Reply
  2. mentalbreakinprogress

     /  October 9, 2015

    It turned out wonderful 🙂 I love your story. I never thought to look at my blog stats on a deeper level…I’m going to be googling a lot tonight lol Great read! 🙂 You should share on my page I have a “Meet & Greet” going on right now. Hope to see you there! 🙂

    Reply
  3. Haha! I used to mix tortilla chips in a ziplock bag with taco bell hot sauce.

    Reply
  4. Incredible story – I loved reading this. Glad I found your blog. Have a lovely day 🙂

    Reply
  5. You have inspired me to take a better look at my stats as well. Burundi? Wow. Didn’t know any of that info you brought forth, but why would I? Nicely done. I used to have a backup of old flip phones and computers I blew up (innumerable, that number), but it went the way of a dumpster when I moved four years ago. And the blog turned out fine, by way of your phone.

    Reply
  6. Wow! I would say that that (keeping the Burundi reader happy) is something worth striving for. I hope she reads this post.

    Reply
  7. This was a great read – I love seeing which parts of the world my readers come from. It’s like Pokemon, gotta catch them all! But the more obscure, the better. And imagining what people get up to in their ‘off-blog’ time fascinates me too. It’s why I worry something’s happened to them when I’ve not spotted comments from them in a while.

    Reply
  8. meshelkelly

     /  October 9, 2015

    Your posts always entertain me and are thought provoking.
    And yes, the phone worked just fine. 😉

    Reply
  9. lisabrock

     /  October 9, 2015

    It turned out okay.

    Reply
  10. LucyP

     /  October 9, 2015

    Hi. LucyP here.

    Perhaps you are a bit young to have a muse but let me know if you are interested.

    LucyP

    Reply
  11. Completely agree about spotting random but recurrent countries in your stats and imagining who is reading from there. Does your reader from Burundi ever comment? I wish locations showed up in the comments! Great post anyway.

    Reply
  12. countingsheepstudio

     /  October 10, 2015

    Not sure if you do this sort of thing, but I nominated you for a Liebster award because I appreciate your writing. You provide both humor and thought-provoking stories at the same time 🙂 You can check it out on my blog here: https://thecrumbsofmylife.wordpress.com/2015/10/09/its-personal-fall-rant-liebsters/ – and have an amazing weekend!

    Reply
  13. I care not how much like poverty it tastes, taco bell fire sauce and ramen is fraking delish.

    Reply

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