Cry For Absolution


You approach the great doors.  They’re fifteen feet tall, made of some dark wood, and expertly polished.  Embossed on them are a tableaux: man falls from the mortal plane, down through caverns and holes and finally into a giant lake of fire.

You push the doors open, and enter a sanctuary.

Great stone columns line the center walkway.  The columns and the walls of the place are carved from a dark, dark stone.  No natural light enters the room, but the flickering candles cast strange shadows dancing across the walls and floor.

A wine red carpet leads you past several pews where the faithful wait, towards an altar at the front.  At the altar, a green skin creature in vestments exhorts the crowd.  He wears a hood.  His face is concealed.

“Cheer, oh faithful” he intones, “and rejoice.  The prophecy has been fulfilled.  50,000 views.”  He lifts too clawed hands in a call for exultation.  The faithful respond.

“What?” You ask.  “50,000 views?  How is it possible?”

The green skinned one turns to you.  You see a flash of white teeth behind the darkness of his hood.

“Through the corn goblin all things are possible.”

Your legs feel weak.  You fall to your knees.  The green skinned creature nods.

“What a fool I was,” you mutter, “for not reading his posts.”

“All the things you desire are here, if you only knew to look.”

“How?”

The green skinned one gestures to the altar.  You see it now.  A giant statue of something vaguely human shaped at sitting with a laptop on it’s knees.

“Put your hands up and reach for the sky.  Cry for absolution.”

The room is quiet now.  You look around.  The congregation of the faithful surrounds you.  You look at their hands.  They all hold corn.

“Please… please… 50,000 views!  How?”

The green one is before you now.  He holds out an ear of corn.

You stare at it.

And then you grab it and take a bite.

It’s rather good, but could use some butter.

The green one grins.

“50,000 views, paid for by viewers like you.”  He looks directly at you.  “It’s a big achievement.  Thanks for stopping by.  Become a reader now, and know that it’s not to late.  A corny absolution could be yours, too.”

“Corny?”  You ask.  Your lip trembles.  He nods again.

“All you have to do is read.”

Goblin

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6 Comments

  1. Congratulations, dude!
    Nice post and accompanying image, also.

    Reply
  2. Heather

     /  September 2, 2015

    That’s awesome 🙂

    Reply
  3. lisabrock

     /  September 2, 2015

    Congratulations and awesome.

    Sent from AOL Mobile Mail

    Reply
  4. love your sense of humour!!!! thorough enjoyable read… really? 50k views? !!

    Reply

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