WeWriWa #2: A ghost Story


Here’s the beginning to a new short story I’m working on.  I’ve decided to post the first 8 lines for Weekend Writing Warriors  What do you guys think?

* * * * *

I saw her.

She was there, a brief moment, ah!  But too brief.  There, on the stage, smiling, her perfect teeth glistening in their perfect rows, the dimples and freckles, her wide eyes and perfect skin and oh!  Be still my hear, but I saw her.

And then it was there was a blackout, a lowered curtain; the interval, and she was gone.

I decided to complete the ritual and purchase a gin and tonic from the third ring bar.  London’s National Theatre has expensive drinks, but it had become part of the pattern, and I daren’t break with tradition.

* * * * *

On a side note I’ve finished my screenplay (finally).  101 pages of glory.  Look for it in theaters in the next two years (he said hopefully).  It’s called “A Stellar Holiday” and it’s about aliens.

-Corngoblin

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16 Comments

  1. i like this – i am certainly intrigued and would like to read more.

    Reply
  2. Definite potential.
    Will there be tickets waiting for us at the theatre for “A Stellar Holiday”?

    Reply
  3. I’m intrigued. I want more.

    Reply
  4. Interesting, definitely leaves me with questions and a strong desire to keep reading. Terrific snippet!

    Reply
  5. Congratulations on your play. Wonderful 8. I tweeted.

    Reply
  6. Hmm…I’m wondering why the ritual? And that’s good–you have the reader wondering. 🙂 Nice 8!

    Reply
    • Not all is well with the narrator. I wanted to give the impression of his creepiness at the beginning. Thanks for stopping by.

      Reply
  7. Drew me right in.

    Reply
  8. Now I’m waiting for the next bit! Looking forward to the movie, too!

    Reply
  9. Congratulations on finishing your screenplay! A friend and I started one but we’ve never finished it.

    Reply
  10. I love the lack of context for the narrator and this girl – who is he? Who is she? Great way to bring the reader in!

    Reply

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