It has begun…


And it’s about time, really.  Indeed, I haven’t blogged or written anything that was not academically inclined for many a fortnight.  With my busy schedule I had no time for anything.  Near the end of last semester I had even sequestered myself in my chambers for nearly TWO whole days writing a paper for my ancient paganism class:

My penultimate moment of inspiration...a moment that changed me forever

A class which incidentally had far more to do with early Christianity than anything awesome like druids, babylonians, satanists or etc.  On top of that, I was heavily involved in a valiant but terrible ultimate frisbee teams, and maybe even attended HALF of the games.  Each time i didnt go, y incredible skill brain was sorely missed.

Master tactician that I was, I always played with my head

Any normal human would at this point be so swamped with work that he or she would contemplate ending it all and working at McDonald’s, but not me.  I still found time to play a disgusting amount of video games, work my fingers to the bone at a job that would have much higher productivity if the entire student staff was traded in for poorly trained orangutans, watch two full seasons of dexter, blow $2000 on stuff and verbally abuse nearly everyone I know, because i felt like it.  I eventually became so busy that I pushed through the barrier of Infinitely Busy and came out the other end into a state of doing absolutley nothing; I was so busy that i had nothing to do.  If this makes no sense go take some physics classes at MIT and then you tell me who’s right.

"He's right you know"

But so far this semester, i have had more free time than something that has alot of free time.  A rock or something.  Maybe a fox.  I could see foxes having lots of free time for some reason.  I had more free time than a fox, so i figured that it was high time i started blogging again.  Not that anyone ever reads what i post anyway, more that by the act of blogging itself I become a less bored person and can at least pretend that my opinions are relevant.  After all, my pages are hosted on the internet.  Who else can claim such a ting?  I had grown tired at the other site I previously used.  Blogspot or whatever.  The formating was fail, as were the customization options and the user base.  Additionally , since I was able to get ads on my website, I felt that I had sold out, which made me angry.  And since I never made any money from these ads, I felt I had chosen a poor place to sell out, which made me even angrier.  So I began to fantasize about greener blogging pastures.  Amazingly, when I went to work last week, some coworkers were discussing blogging, and mentioned that they both used wordpress.

“WordPress…” I thought to myself outloud.  They both stopped talking and turned to look at me.  “Yes…of course!  Wordpress!  Its so simple!  HAHAHAHAHAHAH!”  Needless to say this sudden revelation had a twofold effect: I found a fantastic new website to host my indecipherable ravings, and I was able to take command of the good chair at work because the girl I was working with had come to believe I was completely insane.  I was all set to embark upon a new adventure of writing, to sail the golden seas of creativity in the HMS imagination… until i began to watch the tudors and completely forgot about blogging until I arrived at work today.

Before I get to the thing that inspired this incredible post, that is, other then my usual inspiration (heavy metal music), I suppose i should answer a glaring question: Why the Corngoblin?  The answer is simple: During a high school track meet, James and I created the mythical “Corngoblin” in order to amuse ourselves, commenting on other runners by saying things like “He runs as swiftly as the Corngoblin!” etc.  The corngoblin later evolved into a goblin that gobbles corn, and then into a long running joke between nick, james and myself.  Most recently, I have used it for an account name for Xbox live and several online games.  Nick has even drawn a picture of him!  The corngoblin is funny because it makes no sense whatsoever.

So anyway, I was going through everyone’s status’s on facebook because I am creepy and that’s what creepy people do, when I came across a particular status that drew my attention.  A friend of mine had deleted most of his facebook friends who he either didn’t know or didn’t care to hear about; a novel idea in this day and age.  He kept only people who meant something to him in some way or another.  And this got me thinking.  Does anyone actually believe that they are friends with all of their facebook friends?   Is there some poor soul who, after his or her first week of college, gets a call from his or her mother and proudly claims “Why yes, I have made friends.  2,387 in fact.  You can see them on my facebook!”  That would be pure insanity.

They say a picture is worth 1,000 words.  I say a picture of insanity wolf is worth 10,000 years of madness.  In short, people probably do have too many facebook friends, but dont worry, i probably wont drop you any time soon.  Probably…

Lastly, heres a short story i wrote for german.  Dont speak german?  TOO BAD.

Die Tragödie der Bananafingers

Bananafingers hat in den Spiegal angestarrt.  Sie war hässlich, und keine Männer haben sie geliebt, weil sie hattet Bannanen für Finger.  Sie, aber, hattet einen Entwurf: wenn alle leute haben Bananen für Finger, dann sie schön würdet. Plötzlich, Hamburgerface hat das Zimmer eingegeben.

“Bananfingers, was ist unrecht?”  Hamburgerface hat gesagt.

“Keine Männer lieben mich, weil ich so hässlich bin!” Bananfingers hat geschrien.  Sie hat den Spiegal mit ihre aasige Hände geschlagen, der ist nicht brach ab weil der Finger zu leicht war.

“Oh mein Bananafingers, du bist schön in dein eigen besondere Weg!  Wer noch kann ihre Finger essen?  Du haßt die appetitlichsten Finger in die ganze Welt!” Hamburgerface hat gesagt.  Neue Tränen sind in Bananafinger’s Augen geformt; Tränen der freude.

“Oh Hamburgerface, du wisst immer wie mich Lächeln machen!  Dass ist warum ich liebe dich.” Sie hat gesagt.  Hamburgerface hat geworden gegen Bananafingers mit Traurigkeit an seiner Gesischt.

“Oh Bananafingers, ich könnte dich nie lieben.”

“Warum?”

“Weil… Weil du Bananen für Finger hast!”

******************************************

I know,  I cry every time i read it too.

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2 Comments

  1. Classic stuff. well done, charles

    Reply
  2. Brian

     /  February 7, 2011

    Lol, Google Translate fails just enough for me to get the gist of what’s going on in your short story, but definitely not enough for full comprehension. Well done, Charles, it’s good to have you back.

    Reply

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