Some of you, my dear readers, may have noticed a sudden resurgence of interest in blogging on corngoblin.wordpress.com. Some of you may have not, but that’s ok, I don’t blame you, I blame your lack of perceptiveness. Before the tabloids begin to have a field day, let me lay to rest once and for all the rumors that have been floating around of the coming of a golden age here on corngoblin.wordpress.com. You might want to put on your safety goggles, because I’m about to blow your mind. If you don’t know how to put on goggles, the doctor is here to demonstrate:
IT’S ALL TRUE. ALL OF IT.
We are entering a golden age here at corngoblin.wordpress.com, or at least that’s what the experts at MIT and Cambridge think, and who am I to argue with experts? Four posts in just as many days is no coincidence, they say. It is in fact classic evidence of a golden age, just like the one in Greece that one time! In honor of this auspicious happening I am now going to assemble list of some of my favorite things. It won’t be a complete list mind you, but I’m planning on updating it regularly. Oh, and if you’ve found your way here because I liked or commented one of your posts, I’d like you to know that yes I did in fact read it. It wouldn’t be fair otherwise. So, if you agree with what I say, feel free to comment. If you disagree, feel even more free to comment. If you don’t care, feel even more even more free to comment. And lastly, if you TL;DR, then you can just go back to your troll cave sir, and cry yourself to sleep as you are want to do.
My Favorite Movie
I lik funny things, and lads who work at conrgoblin.wordpress.com and I agree that Monty Python and the Holy Grail is about the funniest damn thing we have ever seen. Not convinced this is a great movie? Oh, ok. Maybe rotten tomatoes can convince you. A 95%? Even Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked didn’t get a 95%, and some kid at the mall told me that movie was “fucking awesome, bro!” Every scene in this movie is hilarious, and could be a skit in its own right, but the movie doesn’t feel like it’s a bunch of skits loosely strung together, it feels like a real movie. And I think that’s the true beauty of the film. It was made with no budget, and never takes itself seriously. I even went to an interview for the writing program at the Florida State Film School and said that Monty Python and the Holy Grail was my favorite movie at all time. They laughed. One of them went so far as to say “bold!” while shaking her head. They didn’t let me in, but I’m sure it had more to do with the absolute state of bowl releasing terror i was in during the interview than Monty Python and the Holy Grail. And even if it was the movie’s fault, who cares? It’s only a flesh wound!
My Favorite TV Show
Ok, first off, let me say this was a hard one. I really, really, really like arrested development. But there’s one thing about Futurama that makes it my favorite show: the writers can write whatever the fuck they want. There is literally nothing holding them back. Futurama is set in a crazy magically advanced future world with no rules. It’s beautiful. Wanna assassinate Hitler? No problem, time machine. Want to have celebrity appearance? All of their heads are preserved in a museum. Want to do anything else? Time travel, infinite planets, extra dimensions; they have it all. It’s like going to a cafeteria salad bar only to find out that the shitty lettuce has been replaced with every beer on the planet. And its all free. That’s Futurama. Deal with it.
This one. You can cook eggs and toast stuff at the same time! What’s not to like? You know, unless you are allergic to eggs or something. Can you be allergic to toast?
Favorite Historical Thing That Can Also be a Halloween Costume
Vikings are as awesome as Pirates, and they have a crazy awesome battle religion to boot. Plus, everyone dresses up as pirates. Hardly anyone dresses up as vikings. It’s probably because they’re scared to.
Not only is francium all the way down on the bottom of the table of elements, but it’s also the most unstable naturally occurring element. This means that if vikings were an element, they would be francium. Vikings conquered parts of France(ium) didn’t they? Answer: yes, yes they did. My logic is irrefutable.
Favorite Medieval Torture Device
The Iron Maiden. It’s also one of my favorite bands.
Favorite Fantasy Race
Goblins, duh. Have you not read my blogs name?
Hopefully this list sparked some interest. What are your favorite things in these categories? Comment your answers, and we can argue and ruin each others day. It’ll be just like the league of legends forums. Dr. Who knows what I’m talking about.