Music


Music

Songs are like magic.  Good ones capture the soul and take it on a journey.  A journey to places it had long forgotten.  As it travels, it remembers, and the memories bring forth long since dormant emotions that mix with the melodies and the rhythm   so that you almost cry.  Not in a sad way, but  out of joy, like you’ve found a long lost friend and learned that they’re alright.

Songs capture the soul, yes, but then set it free and send it soaring above the highest mountains and into the ether.  It can see the whole world up there.   It’s always beautiful, like late evening, when the light’s a mix of pink and orange, and the sun casts long shadows.

Sometimes if you’re very lucky you can see the stars, even if the sun is still barely casting light. The sky takes on a purple tinge then, and the stars hang languidly above our sphere, casting light down upon us that they created millennia ago.  They don’t care for music, but I’m sure that if we just shared it with them, they would find it as lovely as we do.  They’d only need a little push, like that which a parent gives to a child sitting nervously on top of a slide.

I think that’s the real beauty of music.  It, more than anything, is meant to be shared.  You should never create a song just for you.  Share it with the world, with the sky and the stars, the great planets and their moons, and comets that streak across the stratosphere.  They’ll thank you for it, I’m sure, in their own way.  You might not find out for a long time, but they’ll thank you, as will we all.

One day.

The Medallion


So, here’s a short story that I’ve been working on.  I’m a big fan of the man himself, H. P. Lovecraft, and so I tried to write a story in his style, but in third person.  Here he is:

What a happy looking guy!

What a happy looking guy!

I was hoping for something more awesome though.  Hmm….

What a happy guy!

What a happy guy!

Ah, yes.  Excellent.  Anyway…

This may seem like an unusual choice (lovecraft + 3rd person) to those of you who know that Lovecraft wrote almost exclusively in the first person, but I must also warn you that when I wrote the rough draft, the original Idea was to adopt Hemingway’s technique of drinking copious amounts of alcohol before writing something, and then trying to crank out a story.  I then opted out of the Faulker technique of continuing to drink until you pass out, and then wake up the following morning with a good drink and trying to edit.

Secondly, this story is meant to be a horror, and if you find it amusing, be warned that it was unintentional, and due to my occasional inability to slam together coherent sentences rather than any sort of concentrated effort.

Here you go!

The Red Medallion

The moon hung gibbous and eternal over the dark forest as Aaron crashed through the underbrush.  Tree branches snatched at his coat and urged him to stop and feel they’re spindly embrace.  He almost did it, too.  He almost just lay down and accepted what might come: death, an afterlife, oblivion.  It was all fine with him, but then he heard it again, the haunting, bestial howl. He restarted his panicked flight with a redoubled effort, one thought on his mind: it’s getting closer!

Trees, trees, more trees, roots and limbs.  The soft thuds of his footfalls were diminished somewhat by the peat on the forest floor, but the franticness in their cadence was unmistakable.  This was a man running for his life, they told you, a man running out of time.

He burst through a thicket of bushes and his footing came out from under him, sending him sliding, rolling down a precipice.  Down!  Down he rolled, down the steep embankment, over the rocks and roots that grabbed at his legs, sometimes threatening to break them.  He cried out as he tumbled, knowing full and well the futility of this action.  There was no one else around.  No one at all.  Just him and… it.

Splash!  He barreled into the rocky stream at the bottom of the ravine, and a searing pain in his left arm stabbed through his mind, keeping him alert and conscious, though he could feel the tendrils of darkness creeping into the edge of his vision.  He lay there for quite some time, in the mud and shallow water, waiting for the pain to stop.  It didn’t.

He stood and fell back down again.  His leg had collapsed out from under him.  He stood more carefully and managed to stay on his feet, at least until he gave his arm an experimental prod.  Bad Idea.  His vision swam and he nearly passed out as he crashed back into the water.  Fuck.  Fuckfuckfuck.

He looked up at the opposite side and scowled.  He knew, he knew that only a mile beyond that imposing wall of dirt lay his town.  Safety.  Struggling, he managed to right himself once more, and cross over to the embankment, taking special care to not touch his left arm.

The wall was too steep to simply walk up.  He would have to climb it, here and now, unless…

He looked left.  The stream stretched for miles, bordered on both sides by steep walls of earth and the dark imposing forest on top of the walls.  The right wasn’t any better.  No, it had be here.  He wasn’t even sure if he could walk much firther that night, not with his sprained ankle, but the thing following him, it certainly couldn’t climb a–

The howl made Aaron jump and almost fall back into the water.  This one sounded different, sort of anxious, like the howler was expecting this chase to be over and done with in the near future.

He threw himself bodily at the wall, cradling his left arm into his body and clawing like a madman at the dirt, trying to gain purchase on it’s crumbly surface.  He managed to snag a root that seemed relatively sturdy, and tried to haul himself up with it.

Foolish.

His right hand was not strong enough to support his weight, and it collapsed under the strain, sending him sprawling once more into the cold stream.

A howl broke the quiet of the night, bloodcurdling and, most frightful of all, close.  Ever so close.  Aaron cried, and banged his fist into the river bank’s cold, damp earth.

Why why why why WHY?  Why was the only thing he could think of:  Why had he taken the dare?  Why had he gone to that graveyard, that fucking gave yard?  Why did they do this to him?  It should have been easy.  It should have been easy.  It had been easy enough at first.  Tom’s map had led him straight to the graveyard, there had been a shovel behind the shed like Tom had told him, and the grave dirt wasn’t to packed.  It split apart like rotten meat to his shovel, and the coffin hadn’t even been buried that deep.  Once he pried the lid off and seen it… the red medallion.

Another howl snapped him out of his reverie.  Shit.  He stood and began to hobble down the stream, hoping that there was something, a ladder, some stairs, something he couldn’t see further along it’s course.

If I make it out of this, he grimly thought as he looked over his shoulder at the moon, which seemed even larger and more intimidating than before, I’m never going to play truth or dare again.  At least not with my friends.  He laughed at this, a cruel, barking laugh that was unlike him.  Friends…

High school had been so hard that Aaron had jumped at the chance to hang out with anyone, and positively wet himself when the popular kids had invited him to a party Jerry was having at his uncle’s house.

All the best looking girls were there.  Ashlee, with her long, dark hair and curvy hips.  Lilith, with her prodigious bosom and winning smile.  Rachel, with the dimples and the jade colored eyes.  All of them, and they turned and smiled at him when he walked in.  Rachel even said his name, his name, as she passed him a drink.  It was heaven.

They had started off the night with some drinking games.  Aaron hadn’t known any when they started, but he got a good hang for them by the time they finished.  He hadn’t ever drunk much alcohol before, so it all hit him rather hard.  He had thought he could handle it.  His father had occasionally snuck him sips of beer while his mother wasn’t looking, and he had thought that his would somehow prepare him for copious dirnking, but he had been wrong.  It seemed that it was always that way.  Wrong.

They had played beer pong and kings cup, flip cup and quarters, and once he had become too drunk to think clearly, they had settled down to play truth or dare.  He was between Rachel and Lilith, and counting himself rather lucky.  Tom had started off with a truth, and told everyone about the time he lost his virginity, much to everyone’s chagrin.  It seemed like they had heard it before.  Rachel took dare, and had to kiss Aaron on the lips.  It was the single greatest thing that had ever happened in his life, and probably ever would.  It got to Aaron’s turn, and he was still swooning.  He dumbly looked at Rachel, who mouthed the word “dare” with he perfect lips.  He obeyed, and they dared him to dig up a grave.

Aaron splashed through the stream, tears streaking down his face.  He was crying again and he wasn’t certain why.  It had just happened, like a summer storm, sudden and violent.  He hoped it would break soon.  He felt like it was slowing him down.

He wasn’t sure what they had planned.  Surley it was to scare him in some capacity or another.  Maybe dress up as a ghost and hide behind a grave, or wait in the woods until he had dug deep into the grave dirt, and then pushed him in the grave and pretended to bury him. They had never gotten the chance.  Once he had locked his hand around that medallion, once he had taken it–

A splash of fast approached feet drew Aaron out of his reverie.  IT was hear.  Run.  Run.  Run as fast as you can.  Sprint god damn it and… ah, but there was never any hope, was there?  He fell, like so many others before him, crashing down into the stream.

He rolled over, and it was on top of him.  The fangs.  The claws.  The rancid stinking breath, like the breath of a corpse, or perhaps the breath of something made of corpses.  It was hard for Aaron to tell.  He had never smelled either, but for an instant, just an instant, he had seen something in the beast’s hide, something that looked eerily similar to Rachel’s face, screaming in pain and horror as it pushed against the creatures pale, hyper stretched skin.

It tore into him, ripping his throat in one clean bite.  Aaron struggled briefly, and would have been proud to learn that he damaged the beast’s leg.  It didn’t cause too much trouble, but it was a badge of honor that few of it’s past victims would be able to claim before they went.

He felt it rummage through his pockets and take the medallion, and then it was gone, and Aaron was left with nothing but the cold water of the stream, and the moon, which cut through the encroaching darkness like a beacon, golden and lustrous, almost as if it were made of metal.

*****

Oh, and I almost forgot to thank Ronni Noyce, Kathryn Jenkins and Kristy J. W. for nominating me for the “shine on”, “sunshine”, and “versatile” blogger awards, respectively.  I promise you, I’m gonna do one big fucking awards post some time this months and it’s going to be utter madness.  So get ready, readers, I’ve got like 5 awards to give out, and one might be coming to you!

Soon, Gentle Readers, soon!


Soon, Gentle Readers, soon!

I’m about to be back at school, and the blogging will recommence. I’ve got some good stuff planned for the summer, and i’ve found a few more peter articles for you die hards out there. And remember, listen to the sloth: FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!

WeWriWa #3: The Game


Here’s an excerpt from a new story of mine for this weekend’s weekend writing warriors  I’m hoping to send it off to a sci-fi/fantasy mag.

********

The problem with most people, Ma’lark the Halfling thought, as he applied buttermilk colored foam to the bank’s plaster wall in front of him, is that they’re stupid.  They think, for instance, that just because the most advanced machine around is the crossbow, people shouldn’t know how to make explosives.

He smirked and finished placing the foam.  He stepped back to admire his handiwork, and couldn’t help but smirk even wider.  The foam was arranged in a pattern to look like a caricature of him, giving a very condescending thumbs up.  He chuckled to himself as he took a fuse out of his rucksack and stuck it into his foamy doppelganger’s foot.

It’s ridiculous, really.  Explosives are just simple chemistry. 

******

Thanks for reading!

WeWriWa #2: A ghost Story


Here’s the beginning to a new short story I’m working on.  I’ve decided to post the first 8 lines for Weekend Writing Warriors  What do you guys think?

* * * * *

I saw her.

She was there, a brief moment, ah!  But too brief.  There, on the stage, smiling, her perfect teeth glistening in their perfect rows, the dimples and freckles, her wide eyes and perfect skin and oh!  Be still my hear, but I saw her.

And then it was there was a blackout, a lowered curtain; the interval, and she was gone.

I decided to complete the ritual and purchase a gin and tonic from the third ring bar.  London’s National Theatre has expensive drinks, but it had become part of the pattern, and I daren’t break with tradition.

* * * * *

On a side note I’ve finished my screenplay (finally).  101 pages of glory.  Look for it in theaters in the next two years (he said hopefully).  It’s called “A Stellar Holiday” and it’s about aliens.

-Corngoblin

Leaving (Travel 2)


coast

I’ve come to find that the immediacy of losing something always increases it’s value.  It doesn’t matter what it is.  Consider the coffee bean, or rather coffee beans, specifically the last few scoops worth.  I always treat them reverently, like they’re the last beans on earth.  In my case, if I’m particularly broke, they might as well be.  I’m sort of afraid to use them, and I’m not really sure why, but when I inevitably do, they taste all the sweeter because I know they’re the last.

boat

As it is with the coffee bean, so too is it with traveling.  I’ve come to my last two weeks in London, and I find that I’m having more fun now than at any other point on the trip.  It’s like being able to see the end has helped me appreciate things I have taken for granted.

london

The beautiful London things that I used to ignore daily suddenly spark an interest in my mind

Tower

Not to mention that I got to go to scotland and see things like this

rocks

Or This

Town

Or This

bikes and castle

 

Now, my newfound enjoyment in all things Britain related might be from my Scotland Trip, or the weather finally breaking, or my stonehenge trip.

stonehenge

 

But I think not.

stonehenge 2

No, it’s because the trip is coming to an end.  All these other things, little trips and the weather, help make it nice, but I appreciate them all the more because soon they will all be gone.

coast2

Don’t get me wrong.  It’s not that I don’t want to go home; far from it.  I am quite looking forward to getting back, seeing the people I had left there, eating proper peanut butter, being able to afford a drink (6 pounds for a G & T at the National?  Come on!) and seeing the sun.  I’ll be quite happy for the trip back, and yet the trip still looms, and in it’s looming, I find more enjoyment in the present.

castle

So to anyone on an extended holiday from their native land I have this to say: the immediacy of your return has a direct, positive correlation to your enjoyment of the place you will soon be leaving.  So enjoy it, because it’ll probably be the most enjoyable part.

edinburgh

And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, especially yourself.  Now is the time to strike.  Do not mope that the journey is over, and soon it will be nothing but memories, go forth and make new ones!  Now is not the time to weep, but to laugh.  Not to sit, but to run.  Not to die, but live.

castle 3

So go.

Just go.

And for god’s sake

Enjoy yourself.

 

Troll 2

 

 

 

 

1000 Loyal Followers!


Well, it’s happened.  1000 followers!  Hooray for us!

I’ve decided that, as a 1000 follower event, I’ll post a poll where you, the visitor, can vote on what the next post will be, or maybe what you would like to see more of.

Also, I’ll be posting something very soon, hopefully by next week.  I’ve been caught up in finishing my screenplay and stageplay.

And lastly, some of my collegues at film school are doing a kickstarter to fund their writer’s showcase.  Here’s their website.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2105625211/fsu-film-school-writers-showcase-2013

If you like film or writers, check it out.

-corngoblin

Disney’s next five animated movies


Dear readers!

Remarkable!  Absolutely remarkable!  The researchers at the Miskatonic University and I have uncovered yet another post from Peter’s Awesome blog!  I’m here to share it with you now but if you’re unfamiliar with peter, you may want to read this post first, he can be a bit abrasive at times.  - The Corngoblin

********************************


PETER'S AWESOME BLOG 2

Well, Disney is at it again folks.  They are currently making another blockbuster animated feature, the likes of which we’ve never, ever seen before.  If difficult to track genius, but I think we may be able to do it with disney.  Let’s give it a try.  THERE MAY BE A PATTERN TO THEIR FILMS.

First we had CARS, a movie about CARS.  These CARS were pretty much people, but instead of PEOPLE, they were CARS.  This movie was done with pixar, I assume only to learn the secret of how pixar makes such awesome movies.  CARS was commercially successful, especially in the toy CAR(S) department.  Merchandising for CARS was huge.  Why?  Because it’s easy to make toys based off of cartoon CARS.  In fact, that was probably the whole reason behind making CARS.  Disney can sell CARS to little kids, or rather, to their parents. It’s a wonder disney hasn’t gone for the jugular and made a movie about TOYS.

toy story

CARS is described by the acclaimed critic wikipedia as a “computer-animated comedy-adventure sports film,” which is pretty much every genre a kids movie can be, squeezed into one.  CARS centers around a car, named “STEVE McQUEEN,” who wants to win races, but ends up in BUMFUCK NOWHERE and learns that there’s more to life than racing, even though he’s a race car.  This is pretty much the plot of EVERY DISNEY PIXAR MOVIE EVER.  Something is something, but it learns at the end that it wants to be something else, EVEN THOUGH IT’S PERFECTLY DESIGNED FOR DOING THE FIRST THING IT WAS MADE TO DO.  IDIOTIC.  CARS plot is about as stupid as the idea of making a movie about CARS, but hey, at least they didn’t do it a second time.

After CARS came CARS 2, GODDAMNIT.  It was EXACTLY THE SAME AS CARS, except it was called CARS 2.  CARS 2 is a “computer-animated action comedy spy film,” centered around a THRILLING PLOT of introducing MORE CARS DISNEY CAN SELL TO LITTLE KIDS, and by that i mean THEIR PARENTS.  The plot is about oil reserves and cars WHO ARE SPIES and is JUST AS RETARDED AS CARS.  IT’S SO DUMB THAT IT DOESNT MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL.  THEY’RE CARS, NOT SPIES, YOU IDIOTS AT DISNEY.

Anyway, we can already see a pattern developing.  Disney takes a THING, and pretends it’s a PERSON, and then makes a movie about it.  It isn’t any more imaginative than looking around your room, finding an object, and using a recycled plot from an old disney film, but changing al the people into that object.  I wonder what there next movie is going to be.

for fuck's sake

for fuck’s sake

Oh great.  It’s a movie about PLANES CALLED PLANES.  Disney is flying solo on this one, it seems they learned the pixar pattern well.  The people who name movies at disney are so imaginative.  Remember when that movie LIONS came out?

lions

The timeless A GIRL AND SEVEN MIDGETS?

A GIRL AND SEVEN MIDGETS

Or what about that classic, CHINESE PEOPLE?

CHINESE PEOPLESee?  I could name movies for Disney too.

Anyway.  Planes is probably going to be just as asinine as CARS and CARS 2 (why didn’t they just name it MORE CARS?).  I bet it’s going to be about an airplane who doesn’t want to do whatever he was designed to do.  Just you wait.

In honor of PLANES coming out, I’m going to give disney advice for it’s next 5 movies.  They should be as follows:

teeth movie

band-aids

wheelchairs

colored condoms - farbige kondome

viruses

These all look better than planes.

How to Get 3 Million Blog Views


Dear readers,

I’ve recently been working with a team of researchers from Miskatonic University, whose main goal is the delve into the lost recesses of cyber space and uncover long forgotten blog posts from blogs that, for one reason or another, came offline.  We’ve made some astounding discoveries.  This following piece is a prime example of some of the lost treasures we’ve found.

-The Corngoblin

**********************

3 MILLION VIEWS

3 MILLION VIEWS

Hi guys!  In case you’re new here, my name’s Peter, and I’ve got 3 MILLION VIEWS, and I’d like to show you how you can too.  You guys are obviously familiar with my work since, you know, you’re on the internet, so here we go!

HOW TO GET 3 MILLION VIEWS

I go on a lot of people’s blogs, normally just to post a spam comment so they come look at mine, sure, but it still counts, and there’s one thing I always notice.

They Aint Got 3 million views

Some barely have 1,000!  PATHETIC.  That got me to thinking, why does a famous, successful blogger like myself have so many views?  I mean, so many.  Is it fair that some bloggers get all the views, while other bloggers are relegated to the blogging slums, flighting each other for 10 views a day?  The short answer:

YES, IT TOTALLY IS

It’s called natural selection, or selective blogging, or maybe even blogctual naslection.  Survival of the fittest, and as anyone in the blogosphere could tell you, I’m the fittest, because baby, I’m survivaling.  I feel bad for those pathetic bloggers who don’t have any views, so I’ve decided to take the time out of my busy blogdule (blog-schedule LOL) to try and help those poor unfortunate souls.  First off, if you don’t have many views, then

YOU’RE PROBABLY A BAD WRITER: No offense, but you should just quit.  You’re wasting everyone’s time and taking valuable views away from people like me, who want to get 3 million more.  3 MILLION.

But for those ouf us who are good:

THERE’S HOPE

Follow this list and you too will get…

THREE!  MILLION!

THREE! MILLION!

  1. USE PICTURES: They say a picture is worth 1000 words.  I say a picture is worth:

THREEMILLION
VIEWS

The Joker and I have one similarity: He likes bullets and gasoline, and I like pictures.  What’s the similarity you ask?

joker cheap

Free, even.  So use pictures.  Not only do they get traffic back from google image searches, but they LOOK PRETTY AND ARE FUN TO LOOK AT.

2.GO CLICK LIKE ON OTHER PEOPLE’S BLOGS: They’ll come look back at yours.  Who cares if they don’t read?  It’s not reading you’re going for, its views.  You don’t even have to read they’re posts, just click “like”…

big jerk

3. WRITE SOMETHING CONTROVERSIAL OR OFFENSIVE, YOU IDIOT: If you make people mad, they’ll comment about how stupid you are, and tell their friends to come look at your stupid blog.  Everyone will hate you, but WHO CARES?  It’s the VIEWS.  For instance, did I tell you that Harry Potter is a STUPID IDIOT, and his books are so bad, I have no idea why he wrote them?  And that Lost is the worst thing to be on TV since they showed those videos of that school bus falling off a bridge?  LOL  And Reddit is for stupid fools that don’t know how to use 9gag.  And wordpress?  Don’t get me started on wordpress.  MYSPACE4LIFE, GEOCITES BITCH.

4. ENCOURAGE VIEWER FEEDBACK: Talk to people if they comment on your post.  IT’S ONLY POLITE.

5. DON’T WRITE BAD POSTS: If you write something that’s BAD, then people won’t want to read it.  So don’t write anything that’s bad. I know it comes easy for amazing bloggers like me, but that’s cause im a flippin GENIUS.

*****

After careful research, it was discovered that Peter had been slain, stabbed 30 times with a long knife at a meeting he had arranged for fans of his blogs.  Strangely, there were no witnesses, and none of the 30 fans who had shown up were called in for questioning.  Another internet mystery.

The Grumpus Beast


The Grumpus went halumping,

over hill and dale

towards children who were a-slumbering

their breath shallow and frail.

It snuck up by the window

its tails all hithersbiddles

fangs drooling with salvia

for eating little kiddles.

The children a-woke to a sound

a sharp a rap tap tapping,

that must have been a stranger on the grounds

for they’re parents were a-napping.

They hopplescotched up out of bed

and scurried to the window,

unaware they’d soon be dead

they’re souls sent off to limbo.

The Grumpus beast was waiting there

mouths twisted into smiles.

The children saw its mangy hair

and their stomachs filled with biles.

The Grumpus went a leaping

a crashing through the glass,

where it commenced to feasting

upon the children’s mass.

The parents came in later,

they screamed and grabbed a phone,

for in the children’s nursery room,

was just a

pile

of

glass

and

bone.

****************

Addendum:

This is my first entry in the Weekend Writing Warriors experience.  The rule is that it has to be 8 sentences.  You’ll notice that I have several lines, but only 8 sentences, so hopefully that’s ok.  I had a lot of fun writing it.

Here’s a link back to the WeWriWa website.  Go and check out some more awesome blogs!

Also, I’ve added a new page of fan picks and some of my favorite posts.  Check it out.- corngoblin

************

Addendum to the Addendum:

Oh dear me!  I was looking at my about page and realized that the venerable Blog of the Imaginator had awarded me the awesome blog content award!  I would like to nominate him/her for the awesome blog name award, but I don’t have the authority to do so.  Thanks so much, Imaginator.

abc-awardNow I have to do me in ABC’s.  Hmmm.

Arcane. Bizzare. Capricious. Defiler.  Erudite. Facetious. Gregarious. Horrifying. Inexorable. Just Kidding. Legendary. Minotaur. Negative. Original. Positive. Qualified. Rabid. Sinister. Titanic. Unrelenting. Vexing. Windblown. Xenial. Yummy.  Zealous.

Thanks Again!

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